Lunch, Not Emails: How Building Trust at Work Starts With One Question
- Adi Soesan
- Nov 10, 2025
- 2 min read
When was the last time you had lunch with a colleague you just can’t work with?
I had one of those.We had to work together, but it felt impossible. Every meeting turned into an argument. We were both frustrated and stuck.
Then Gal Shaul asked me a simple question that changed everything:“When was the last time you had lunch with them?”
At first, I laughed. Lunch? With them?But I was desperate enough to try.
We agreed on one rule: no work talk.That actually made me nervous — what do you even talk about if not work?
But it turned out to be one of the biggest surprises of my career.We talked about travel, hobbies, family... everything but work. And by the end of it, something shifted. The tension was just gone.I saw the person, not the role.
And once that happened, working together stopped feeling like a fight. We started listening, laughing, even enjoying it. We became friends.
What I Learned About Building Trust at Work
That day taught me something I’ve carried into every coaching session and team conversation since: building trust at work isn’t about tools, titles, or process. It’s about how we see each other.
Most of the time, it’s not the work that’s broken — it’s the relationship.When you meet someone outside the task, you meet the human behind the opinion. You stop assuming, start understanding, and create the space where collaboration and empathy can grow.
That’s how communication improves and workplace conflict softens — not through more meetings, but through simple, human connection.
How to Try It Yourself
Pick one person you find difficult to work with.
Invite them for lunch or coffee. Keep it casual.
Set one rule: no work talk for at least the first half.
Ask about life, not deadlines.
Notice what changes. Small shifts in tone or understanding can make a big difference.
You don’t have to walk away as friends, but you’ll probably see that the tension lightens and collaboration flows more easily.
(Photo: my best little colleagues — even them I like better on a full stomach.)
